Marriage is the union of two into one…but along with that union, comes two sets of quirks, attitudes, behaviors, pet peeves, and so on. Marriage is a lesson in humility, vulnerability, and compromise. It’s the ultimate commitment. Marriage was designed by God to be a lifetime covenant, and it should not be easily broken.
All couples struggle. If a married person tells you they don’t have any struggles in their marriage, they’ve either been married for 10 minutes or they’re not being honest with you. Everyone has fights, disagreements, and issues that come between them. Sometimes, the line between love and hate can get very, very thin in marriage. Don’t give up! There’s always hope. God can still work in seemingly impossible situations. In the Bible, Paul instructs those who have unsaved husbands or wives to live by example - to live a godly life in front of them, pray for them, and let God do a work inside of their hearts.
If things just don’t work and it comes down to divorce—then know this: God still loves you. The Bible says: “God sent His Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through Him” (John 3:17, NLT). If you look in the face of Jesus, you will not see condemnation. You will see love. You made a mistake. And guess what? The blood of Jesus is enough to cover it. Just ask Him to forgive you and heal you of your pain. Jesus can give you a brand new start.
Marriage is a lesson in servanthood. Servanthood is not glamorous or self-serving. It is placing the needs of our spouse above our own. Someone once said that compromise is not defined as “50/50,” but rather “40/60” or “30/70.” In other words, marriage is give and take. The art of servanthood is that each person seeks to “out-give” or “out-serve” the other. Can you imagine what marriages all over the world would be like if every husband and every wife were passionate about serving their spouse? What if we didn’t care about being right? What if we didn’t care about having our way? What if we didn’t care about having control over everything? What if we insisted on prioritizing the needs of our spouse above our own? The world would be a different place! Sometimes it’s easy to forget that marriage is about servanthood, and when we focus on ourselves instead of our spouses, we will engage in conflict on a regular basis.
If you’re reading this, you’re probably having some marital struggles related to strife or financial stress. Jesus said, “My peace I give to you; not as the world gives, but my peace I give.” Let the peace of God in your home by serving your spouse. If you find that you and your spouse are simply unable to talk through your issues peaceably, then you may want to consult a marriage counselor. Marriage counselors serve as educated (yet non-biased) mediators, and regular appointments serve as accountability checkpoints to make sure your marriage stays on the right track. Good intentions are not enough. Marriage takes time and work to maintain it. In all of the Hollywood versions of love, loves seems to be something you are “in”….well, the reality is, love is something that you “do.” It’s a daily choice, that we must choose to act on regardless of how good or bad we feel that day, regardless of how our spouse looks that day, regardless of all other factors in our lives.
Ready to take the next step?
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Marital Struggles
